Grandmama wouldn't want a fuss
but here's an invitation to come celebrate all the same x
I’ve been missing Grandmama a lot, lately. The way the constant undertone of missing-ness or grief can bloom on particular days, or seasons, when the fresias flowers perhaps, or around significant anniversaries. Maybe it’s the arrival of spring - a time Grandmama loved working in her garden and sitting out in the sun. The magnolias have put on their show, which she loved, and she would be making twice weekly trips to the nursery to just ‘pick a couple of things up’ but come home laden with new plants.
It’s also, of course, this book - To Stir With Love - which is for and about her and which had its beginnings in our tradition of Christmas Pudding making together. I read a very early version of the story at Grandmama’s funeral. It was for the kids - the great grandchildren, but also the kid-versions of all of us grandchildren. I chose a story for the reason many of us choose stories as a means to articulate big feelings and ideas: it feels infinitely easier and involves a lot less snotty weeping in public.
Many of my most treasured picture books are those with an undertone of heartbreak: The Selfish Giant by Oscar Wilde, illustrated by Michael Foreman and Freire Wright, The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams, John Brown, Rose and the Midnight Cat by Jenny Wagner, illustrated by Ron Brooks, Wilfred Gordon McDonald Partridge by Mem Fox, illustrated by Julie Vivas, everything by Shaun Tan.
When I was in Year 8, my wonderful English teacher Mr Ryan asked us to create a picture book. We had a whole term to write and illustrate and I wanted so desperately to make mine brilliant. I wrote about a boy, Billy, who was scared of the dark and his older neighbour Mrs Moccasin who was blind. I was terrible at drawing and so opted instead to collage my illustrations; ferreting in mum’s sewing drawers for velvet and sequins and paper bags to make old wrinkly hands.
When I first realised that my story for Grandmama might one day be a real actual picture book, I looked back at my thirty-year old first attempt and I had a little cry. When my magnificent illustrator Jess Racklyeft sent through the concepts including the little hand in Grandma’s old hand, I cried again.
Some things feel like they happen all of a sudden when in fact they have been many many years in the making. Katherine Collette (who has HER first book for middle grade readers The Too Tall Tales of Alma T Best out now) and I recorded a special episode of the pod with author, illustrator and Australian Children’s Laureate Sally Rippin releasing tomorrow via The First Time Podcast, where we discuss such things!
I’ve been experiencing a big bout of imposter syndrome and ‘underserving-ness’ with this impending picture book release. My bitchy inner-voice has been particularly loud:
Who do you think you are - trying to write a PICTURE BOOK?!
Wait your turn, you already had a book out last year.
Stay in your lane, Mildenhall.
Omigod are you trying to sell a book via a grandma grief story? Gross!
You don’t DESERVE to have this opportunity and publicity and visibility on your first picture book.
No doubt you have your own version of that nasty inner voice and all she says. My (very wise) therapist gently suggested that I verbalise all of these nasty things and woweee it was like lifting a small hippopotamus (not as cute as Moo Deng) off my chest.
So, despite the fact that I’ve been in hibernation mode in leggings and ugg boots and at the writing desk for the last few months and very much feeling inclined to stay there, I’m also nurturing the kinder inner voice which is saying:
You’ve got this.
You’re allowed to celebrate this.
Grandmama would be so delighted with this book.
Because despite the fact she never wanted a fuss and we had to trick her into a surprise 90th birthday celebration, Grandmama inevitably had a marvellous time. Something I intend to do, too.
Which is all a very long way of saying, if you are Melbourne-based, I’d love to see you at one of two special launch events for To Stir With Love. There will be cake and storytime and some activities for the kids and Jess and I will be delighted to scrawl in some books for you (double signing! I’ve never got to do that before!).
Friday October 4, 5pm at Church of All Nations, Carlton with Readings Books. Free, bookings here.
Sunday October 13, 2pm at Edendale Farm, Eltham with Eltham Bookshop. Family ticket $30 including the book and refreshments. Bookings here.
For those of you in Sydney or regional Vic, there’s a whole bunch of events - all for kids and/or their big people - and you can find links to all on the tour page.
If you are further afield (but still in Australia and NZ for now!) and you’re keen to get your hands on a copy, you can pre-order from your local independent book store or wherever you get your books. It should be in store by Wednesday Oct 3 - if you spot it somewhere I’d love to see a pic!
Thank you, as always, for your presence here. K x
What I’ve been
Reading
Here One Moment - Liane Moriarty. Very clever premise and structure and a satisfying page turner as always! Excited to be in convo again with Liane at Blue Mountain Writers Festival in November.
Cherrywood - Jock Serong. Waxed lyrical here. In short, loved it.
The Season - Helen Garner. Again said all my words of praise here. Cannot WAIT to interview Helen in December for this event (very nearly sold out, get in quick if you want to be there!).
Joelle Gergis and Alice Bishop in The Saturday Paper and Tim Winton in The Monthly
Watching
Only Murders in the Building S1-3 with my murder mystery loving teen who has just devoured Eleanor Jones is Not a Murderer and Eleanor Jones Can’t Keep a Secret by Australian YA crime queen Amy Doak
The Perfect Couple - yes we are planning on learning the opening sequence dance for our group summer camping trip.
Return to Paradise - cosy Aussie small-turn murder mysteries, based on long running Death in Paradise.
Got coming up
Aside from all the picture book events which I'd love to see you at if I come past your neck of the woods, I’m also delighted to still be out and about at some upcoming festivals talking about The Hummingbird Effect and interviewing amazing writers.
In conversation with Emily Maguire about her extraordinary new novel Rapture at Luxsmith. Thursday Oct 10. Bookings here.
Canberra Writers Festival 23-27 October: I’ll be hosting Inga Simpson’s launch of The Thinning, chatting with Charlotte Wood and Emily Maguire about their latest books and running a writing workshop on The Power of Play.
The Enchantment of the Impossible with John Morrisey and Michael Thompson at Berry Writers Festival. Sunday October 27. Tickets here.
Blue Mountains Writers Festival 1-3 November: I’ll be having a delightful conversation with Siang Lu about all the weird connections between our books, and hosting Liane Moriarty.
It will be a beautiful book, Kate. Looking forward to seeing it. I'm reading Liane's new book at the moment and loving it too.
So many of us have beautiful memories of baking and cooking with our grandmas, me included. I can’t wait to pick up a copy of your new picture book, I’m in Tasmania so I’ll keep an eye out in my local bookshop. I know my family will enjoy it. I loved the images of your first picture book, a full circle reflection! Enjoy your book launch celebrations.