Like half of Melbourne, it seems, I’ve been in bed with a rotten cold. I’m basically inhaling oranges (at least Australian Navels are SO good right now that it’s a joy) and lemon and honey drinks along with all the paracetamol. Being sick sucks. But oh, the first morning you wake up and your head is clear and you can breathe through your nose and your brain manages to attach three consecutive thoughts to each other - that’s something else.
I’m a terrible patient, I know this and my family reminds me. I resist being sick until it forces me to stop. I hate stopping. But where I once held that soldiering on as a badge of honour, I now see it as a more problematic character trait; we need to know when to stop, when to rest, when to go fallow (as Vicki Hastrich so wonderfully writes about in Night Fishing).
So, in this flush of feeling better I’m making some changes. The words I so often text to others when they are in chaos and under the pump - ‘go gently’ - are words I am saying, firmly, to myself.
To go gently means different things to different people. For me it can look like:
trying to remember to put the oxygen mask on myself first
scheduling a nap
saying no to commitments (or even - gasp - cancelling!)
ignoring email and social media
letting people know I’m under the pump and will take longer to get back to them
asking for help
making soup (highly recommend my go-to Autumn roasted pumpkin and apple soup (I leave out the cream and sometimes add bacon bits and goats cheese to serve)
blocking out ‘days with no plans’ (and re-reading Jane Godwin and Anna Walker’s beautiful book to remind me)
cuddles on the couch with the kids instead of racing around doing all the things
I’m lucky and privileged that my work is flexible enough to allow me to gentle into certain weeks. But a little gentling can be found in most days: leave the dishes, have eggs on toast or two minute noodles for dinner, ignore the email until tomorrow.
One decision I’ve made to help my gentling is to pull back on editions of The Bowerbird. I love writing for you, but the time it takes is now eating into the writing of a new novel with a looming deadline. So, until September, subscribers will receive just one edition of The Bowerbird each month. I’ll be pausing paid subscriptions until September. Thank you, so much, for your presence here, your messages and engagement, and for those of you who are paid subscribers, your financial support, which means the world. I look forward to still landing in your inbox each month until I can get back to regular programming.
And for you, dear Bowerbirders - a sneak peek at my very first picture book, To Stir With Love, coming out in October this year. I’ve got so much to tell you about the absolutely heart-busting collaboration with the amazing illustrator Jess Racklyeft this has been, but for now, have a squiz at the gorgeous cover. There’ll be news about events and me getting feelsy on the socials very soon. K xx
Reading
I’m woefully behind on getting book recs up on insta where I normally record my (good) reading! Will get there eventually, but gentling for now. Here are some I’ve been loving.
In Ascension by Martin MacInnes. Beejay Silcox told me I MUST read this and she was right. Big, totally immersive and spell-bindingly clever and brain-melting, exactly what I love. Sea and deep space and algae and philosophy and existence. It’ll stretch your brain in the very best of ways.
All Fours by Miranda July. Devoured this. Woman escapes life for a fortnight on a roadtrip and ends up only a suburb away from home in a motel for the duration - what’s not to love (and admire!) about that set up?! My first Miranda July and now I’m deepdiving on all the things. Vibes of Lioness by Emily Perkins, Three Women by Lisa Taddeo, The Pisces by Melissa Broder but also none of those - just perfectly, electrifyingly, July.
Body of Lies by Sarah Bailey. Very gripping and satisfying crime thriller where Bailey brings back DS Gemma Woodstock (huzzah!). Twisty & compelling.
A Way Home by Emily Brewin. The first YA novel for my friend Emily Brewin (Hello, Goodbye (2017), Small Blessings (2019)) this is a tender, insightful story of Grace, a young woman living rough in Melbourne. The novel explores her relationship with her mother, the kindness of others (including a wonderful librarian), the impact of mental health issues on families and the experience of homelessness. Beautifully written, well worth inclusion in school library lists for ages 15+.
Real Americans by Rachael Khong. Bought this off the strength of Madeline Gray’s review on The Bookshelf and was not disappointed. Madeline mentioned 3 Body Problem as a comparison (recently watched and really enjoyed, haven’t read the book), plus it’s a ‘big’ book - spanning time and big ideas.
The Next Big Thing by James Colley. Fun small town rom-com with bite and heart. Really enjoyed James Colley’s debut and looking forward to speaking with him on stage later this week at Sydney Writers Festival!
The Forest Wars: The ugly truth about what's happening in our tall forests by David Lindenmayer. Thoroughly researched, chock full of evidence, an eye-opening account of the myths and realities of logging, forestry industries and more. Looking forward to hosting David for an upcoming event, details below.
Writing advice from the always excellent Charlotte Wood in Subtraction and George Saunders in Story Club.
And finally some light reading from LitHub this morning - on publicity and making it really famous in book world - Oprah or die. This - on ‘favourable situations’ and ‘proper advantages’ is well worth remembering.
Benjamin Franklin had a sister, named Jane, who was extraordinarily talented, but who never got a chance to cultivate her talents. She wrote these words to her brother: “Thousands of Boyles Clarks and Newtons have Probably been lost to the world, and lived and died in Ignorance and meanness, merely for want of being Placed in favourable Situations, and Injoying Proper Advantages.” Those are poignant words; Jane Franklin might have been speaking of herself.
Cass R. Sunstein in Oprah’s Book Club and… Dying? How Do Writers Get Famous
Listening
The Rest is Entertainment - was put on to this by a friend and promptly binged many eps, starting with the deep dive on the problematic aftermath of Baby Reindeer. Richard Osman and Marina Hyde discuss tv, film, books and Arts news and unpack heaps of behind the scenes goss with excellent insight. Heaps of writing craft gems in there too, one of which (move the end of Act 3 to the end of Act 1) just changed the entire structure of my WIP!
The Bookshelf, always, but this ep with guests Benjamin Law and Madeline Gray was not only a delight because they discussed Siang Lu’s excellent Ghost Cities (which I LOVED!) but also because Madeline’s review of Real Americans made me immediately go out and buy it.
Watching
Broadchurch S 1&2 (SBS On Demand) - loved this series years ago, loved it even more as I watched again looking really closely at the structure and reveals. From a writing brain perspective, it was really interesting to watch again when I knew the outcome; useful to watch how misdirection and red herrings work. Also, just want Olivia Coleman to be my mate, really.
Bridgerton S3 P1 (Netflix) - I mean, the upside of being sick over the weekend was time in bed to watch the first 4 eps of Bridgerton back to back. As someone whose comfort watching is still Pride & Prejudice, there’s nothing like swooning fancy pantses at balls to make me feel better. I’ve no hot takes. Just enjoyed, and swooned a little.
The Fall Guy (in cinemas): the birthday choice of my youngest daughter - saw this on the big screen, laughed, thrilled, was delighted by the charm of both Gosling and Blunt. Funny, silly, clever with spectacular stunts - an ode to the ‘invisible’ stuntmen and women of the movies. Reviewed here by Sonia Nair
Coming Up
Gentling into days at home before launching into another big few weeks of festivals and events. I’m continually grateful for the ‘long tail’ of The Hummingbird Effect and the opportunities it has given me. More oranges!
Sydney Writers Festival 21-26 May. Massive, wonderful program! I’ll be appearing at
The First Time Live with Melanie Saward, James Colley & Charlotte Wood. Thursday 23 May 3pm. Tickets here
Talking The Hummingbird Effect at Chatswood Library. Friday 24th May 12.30pm. Free, bookings here.
How to Emerge with Winnie Dunn, Graham Akhurst & Maeve Marsden. Sunday 26 May 12.30pm. Tickets here. (SOLD OUT)
Hosting Holly Ringland talking creativity, joy and The House That Joy Built at PHIVE, Parramatta. Sunday 26 May 3pm. Tickets here (SOLD OUT)
THIS IS IT! 2024: Our Year To Protect Native Forests - world leading forest ecologist Prof David Lindenmayer in conversation with Kate Mildenhall. Wed 29th May. 7.30-9pm. Borderlands Cooperative, Footscray. Free but bookings essential.
Bellingen Writers Festival June 7-9. After a couple of thwarted attempts, I’m finally off to Bellingen and so excited about the place and the program! I’ll be appearing at
The Heart of AI with Tracy Spicer and Toby Walsh. Sat 8 12-1pm.
Wild Fiction with Siang Lu, Max Barry & Shelly Parker-Chan. Sun 9 9-10am.
Beyond the Sure with Bruce Pascoe and Catherine McKinnon. Sun 9 10.30-11.30am.
Fact or Fiction: Navigating Publishing for New Writers with Kevin O’Brien and Ernst Price. Chestnut Tree Bookshop, West Footscray. Wed 12 June 6.30-8.30pm. Bookings here.
Willy Lit Fest 14-16 June. Do yourself a favour and buy a weekend pass that allows you the choice of 60 sessions over the weekend! I’ll be appearing at
And that’s enough for now! More festival news soon. Enjoy your books, writing & oranges xx
Why do we, women who are mums & wives/partners, find it so difficult to permit ourselves to ‘go gently’?
Aren’t we always telling everyone else to take it easy and be kind to themselves (can I make you a cuppa/get you a blanket/bake some bikkies/give you a hug?)
Thanks for the reminder to step away sometimes & just ‘be’.
Life is hurtling past at an alarming pace, and if we don’t stop and enjoy it, what’s the point?
🌻
It must be a city-wide predicament because I've had the worst cold too, and besides eating oranges and pumpkin soup (I make mine with pineapple and chilli), I have also not been able to function much. Can't wait for tomorrow when I foresee this brain fog lifting. I hope you'll get well soon too!